Monday, 5 November 2007

cancer in society, cancer in my labrador


the clocks went back last week so, in de mean time, here am de news...


if you're not already aware the uk and the states are in the middle of what is about to become a little more than a downturn but a meltdown leading to recession over the next 2-3 years.

inflation (gold 28-year highs in $ terms, crude at all-time highs in any terms and bonds going through the roof), property markets taking banks and markets down with them.

however, volatility (ie. what goes up must come down & vice-versa) only temporarily fills a class gap. more people from different backgrounds meet in the dole office. and the latest leave first.


still finding a way to have that necessary and smirking sunday lunch with friends who were more prudent or have clung on, who had parents to bail them out because they had priorities and friends and family. once back on their feet - chou, baby.


even in the 1980s the family gathered around a table of a sunday for news, assists, laughs and groans was the expected norm. every class, every background.


we even had friends from nassau and princeton who came to blackheath every two or three months for these gatherings. plenty of food either side of the roast my father carved whilst i showered after sunday morning football. washed down with bon viveur.


but we met. we spoke to eachother. there were manners. nobody (in general) got shit-faced. there was respect for the elders. most family and friends are now dead.


but since the wealth divide increased from those days, so has that of parenthood, that of inherent respect and, especially, that of education.


bollocks to maggie's privatisations, encouragement of home ownership, to phoney tony and gormless ("how to sell half the country's gold reserves at the bottom of the market") gordon.

the family has disappeared and the place of expectancy and self-respect is a fast-spreading pandemic in this country which makes one despair.


in january our 8 year old golden lab, widdle jack, had a tumour (malign) the size of a rugby ball removed. he didn't moan or wail (much). we were warned that it would come back one day and, as it was of a particularly nasty kind, with a vengeance.

in the middle of october i tried to convince myself (and my girlfriend - he's a mummy's boy) that the enlarged lump on his side was just further healing of scar tissue.

last monday he had a secong and much more severe operation. for the following few days (back to the vet for morphine injections per day) his whelping and howling was so heart-wrenching (he,s a rescue dog) that i wondered if we'd done the right thing.

by friday evening, with the help of some hashish and milky way (which stars did he see?), he had calmed down and exhausted, we all went to bed.

around 2am we're awoken by drunken shouting, bottle breaking in the street outside our third floor sea-front flat in brighton.

i talk to the owner of a bar and night club the next evening after we've quietened down the dog. that night it's until 5am sunday morning.

they will lose their licence - and i did ask nicely. at that time....

Wednesday, 6 June 2007

tuc conference, brighton 2007



can somebody please tell me, as i look out of my window on brighton sea front, why all of the idiotic visitors to the tuc conference are either white, fat blokes or black fat ladies?

Wednesday, 16 May 2007

gormless gordon and hapless harry and norma vaughan


yet further embarrassment for england.


three high profile jokes and z celebrities manage to make further fools of themselves.


if not four, including the 50th anniversay of the debacle in suez.


what a seven days!


two planks phoney tony and two jags primate prescott have left the orchestra pit (the city runs the economy and country from the stage) and left gormless gordon and his warts to teeter on the cliff's edge to which his incompetence and ignorance as chancellor led them.

i keep forgetting, what exactly is income tax - or, for that matter, council tax?

since i pay neither, am i eligible for these "tax credits" johnnies?


and talking about nauseating tits, why is this wanker 'arry moaning about not being allowed to join the other fools needlessly dying in the most connived and corrupt joke of a skirmish since suez 50 years ago?

you know what gingers are like in the sun. it's far too fucking hot for the disillusioned little chap. i'd advise him to hang around and watch hanover granny and phil the greek be cross-examined by mike mansfield in the di and dodi gone die case later this year.


talking of suez and the fiftieth anniversary; eden, what a great chap! but himself, france, egypt and saudi bleeding failed - bloody israel's still here. so why take it out on the third world (still) egyptians? and now the fo won't release the files - which, is, in fact, in itself, breaking the law.

at least the hammers have stayed up!


more importantly, what on earth does that thin-lipped pooftah norma vaughan think he's doing saying that he was the inspiration missing when england got (predictably) white-washed down under this winter?

you weren't there to play norma because you were fucking injured.

the ashes were only won over here courtesy of the bad call on the toss at edgbaston and the dropped catch by warney at the oval.

where you, norma, are concerned, tosser and dropped come to mind.
graystoke
ps. bring back hanging




Saturday, 31 March 2007

starbucks 2

starbucks stirs up a storm in a coffee cup
by dominic rushe, sunday times business 4th march 2007

last friday was an annual holiday in ethiopia to commemorate the battle of adowa in 1896 and the routing of italian forces at the end of the first italo-abyssinian war.

holiday or no holiday, the prime minister, meles zanawi, spent part of the day drawing up his defences in another battle, one that has occupied the country for the past two years - a fight with starbucks over the impoverished country's famous coffee.

this is a truly modern engagement, fired by the forces of globalisation and fought with lawyers. but according to starbuck's critics, it tells an ancient tale, with the coffee chain branded as a modern-day colonialist exploiting ethiopia's 1,000-year-old coffee culture. fittingly enough, the fight is being played out on the most modern of battlegrounds - the video website YouTube.

coffee is ethiopia's largest export, and the country produces some of the finest beans in the world. the growing global demand means quality beans are attracting premium prices. to secure its slice of the action, in 2005 ethiopia's government launched an application to trademark thhe country's gourmet coffee beans in the us.

the ethiopian government argues that trademarks would protect the country's millions of coffee farmers and give them a greater say on prices. oxfam has estimated that trademarks would add £47m a year to the ethiopian economy.

ironically, the most high profile objector to this rebranding exercise has been the biggest coffee brand in the world.

the spat has landed starbucks in a public-relations nightmare, the the ethically minded company accused of acting tough with one of the world's poorest countries.

starbuck's size has increasingly thrown up ethical and cultural dilemmas for the company. howard schultz, the chain's founder, recently warned that starbucks was in danger of losing its identity.

late last month it looked as though an agreement was about to be reached to end the war in east africa. but now ethiopia's representatives are accusing the seattle-based chain of spin. meles is expected to issue a statement this week underlining the fact no agreement has been reached.

the row is potentially damaging for both starbucks's image and ethiopia's economy. the company's annual sales of $7.78 billion are equal to more than three-quarters of ethiopia's entire gdp, which was $9.78 billion in 2006.

douglas holt, the l'oreal professor of marketing at oxford university's said business school, has said the company is 'playing russian roulette' with its brand.

at the heart of the dispute is ethiopia's desire to trademark some of its most famous coffees. coffee arabica, parent plant to the coffee bean, is indigenous to ethiopia and is believed to have been cultivated there for more than 1,000 years. the word coffee itself is thought to be derived from the name of the place from which coffee originated, kaffa in ethiopia.

and the quality beans produced by ethiopia attract premium prices - but not for the country's farmers. according to oxfam, ethiopian growers selling to starbucks earned between 75 cents and $1.60 lb on beans that starbucks then sold for up to $26 lb.

speciality coffees in other regions of the world can get up to 45% of the retail price, compared with 5 to 10% ethiopians are currently receiving, oxfam said.

premium coffee is a growing market, and to benefit from the rising demand the ethiopian government set out to trademark three regions of the country associated with its finest beans - sidamo, harar and yirgacheffe.

the government then asked starbucks and other coffee companies to sign a licensing agreement recognising the brands. one large us coffee company, green mountain, has already done so.

starbucks objected to the trademarks. last december, dub hay, head of starbucks's coffee team, released a video on YouTube stating that ethiopia's position - trademarking geographical areas - was 'against the law'. he said 'certification' was a better approach for the country - similar to jamaican blue mountain coffee or florida orange juice. the video has now been watched almost 30,000 times.

roberta horton, partner with arnold & porter, the washington law firm representing ethiopia's trademark claims, said hay's statement was a 'bunch of nonsense'.

'ethiopia wants to protect a valuable commodity and build up its intellectual property assets,' she said. 'like many third world countries, they haven't always been in a position to do it. now they are and they have every right to do it.'

horton said that in building and protecting its brands, ethiopia was simply employing the same tactics used by starbucks itself.

one of the trademarks - yirgacheffe -has been passed by the us authorities. under us law there are legal arguments against the trademarking of regions - although there are also exceptions. there have been claims the us authorities did not understand that yirgacheffe was a region 9they probably thought he was a warlord somewhere they hadn't yet discovered).

but starbucks's involvement in the trademark row sparked a furious reaction from oxfam and other critics. hay has now apologised for saying the application was illegal.

in a note added to the YouTube video last week, starbucks said: 'since this video was posted, a lot has happened. when we posted this video, we felt the information was correct and since we've learnt a lot and realised the information about the legality of the trademark was not accurate.'

ron layton, chief executive of light years ip, a washing-based intellectual-property-rights body that is advising the ethiopian government, said: 'frankly, their position is mendacious. starbucks never once validated any of their nasty claims and now they are saying they were not true.why have they left dub hay's video up on YouTube? Nearly 30,000 people have seen that now. they should compensate the ethiopians for all the damage that has been done.'

ethiopian produce represents a fractions of starbucks's coffee and a tiny part of the company's overall expenses.

starbucks had 'never articulated' why it was opposed to ethiopia's trademarks, said layton. 'my theory - and it is only theory - is that starbucks was far happier with the previous situation, where coffee countries did not have a say and starbucks had all the power.'

certification guarantees quality and origin of the goods, but a trademark gives the local coffee producers a clear stake in the retail price, he said.

'ethiopians feel very deeply about this. ethiopia has a hot product in a hot market. starbucks's immediate reaction to their attempt to exert control of that product has been to exert its power and for it to try to keep control.'

last month senior starbucks executives met ethiopian officials in addis ababa after hay apologised for his YouTube posting.

the company also said it would double its coffee buying in the region by 2009, and would extend the schemes it has successfully used in south america to give farmers greater access to agricultural support and credit. in addition, starbucks promised to drop its objections to ethiopia's trademarks.

but critics say the moves fell a long way short of a resolution.

the trademark objections have now been taken up by the lobby group national coffee association, a move made at starbucks's behest, claim oxfam, layton and other critics. nor has starbucks said it would sign a licensing agreement with the ethiopians if they successfully register their brands.

'there is no agreement,' said layton.
'there seem to be a lot of people saying some agreement has been reached, but it hasn't. starbucks are spinning.'

alain poncelet (unfortunately named!), vice-president of coffee and managing director of starbucks coffee trading company, said it had become 'very clear to us that we have not engaged as much as we should hhave in east africa.'

why not alain, you produce piss-poor coffee anyway?!

the company buys most of its coffee from latin america (crap), taking only 6% from east africa, and had not spent as much time building relationships in ethiopia and africa's other producers, he said.

'we all agree that we are looking for the same results and that the farmer should be the one benefitting.
'we are not in a position to tell the ethiopian government what to do. we are a coffee company, we do not set the rules. but we do have experience of models that work in colombia (sic), which has certification.'

he said the "row" was 'very unfortunate'.
'starbucks is by far the most beneficial company for coffee farmers out there. we have got so many letters from central american farmers saying that this is not the starbucks they know.'

****************************************************************

what a crock of shite plus who wrote the letters?!!

world bank & federal reserve rip-offs and blackmail coming next!












Thursday, 22 March 2007

starbucks and macca

linda must be turning in her grave yet again (after the hoppy heather fiasco).

starbucks not only produce piss-poor, gnats piss coffee but are also the worst for screwing producers.
here we have an instance, quite simply, whereby they are screwing ethiopia, the finest producers of arabica (kaffa originates from there).
ethiopian farmers earn between 75 cents to $1.60 per lb for beans that starbollocks sells for up to $26 per lb.

so much for Fair Trade policy.

McCartney has now signed up as the first artist to release an album on the starbucks music label, Hear Music formed to 'develop records and sell them in its "coffee shops" and through music retailers.

oh dear, macca - or should it be mocha!
i know your music is these days for lifts and weak & wet coffee drinkers but linda will be really rotating!

paul branch & graystoke

more soon

Sunday, 4 March 2007

lunatics under clear skies

werewolf? there wolf!


sussex 3/04/07 11pm
lunatics totally eclipsed
it was yet another rare astronomical evening. the anticipation had been building all day for the moon's umbra (can't be assed with penumbras) to be pierced by the earth's shadow at 9.18pm gmt as the first total lunar eclipse for 6 years kicked off. so very patrick moorish! rain-clouds had been chased away and the evening skies had cleared to offer perfect viewing from us eclipse twitchers and epileptics in the northern hemisphere.
here in brighton there had been nothing like it since thousands lined the beaches for the first total eclipse of the sun by the moon in 1999 prior to the floyd's dark side of the moon album in 1973. by the time we experienced the approach of totality at 10.18pm gmt i had out the binoculars and, from our sea-front view, could see at least 19 other enthusiasts on the beach lighting fires fuelled by rubber tyres, used condoms and washed up, well-oiled sea birds.
they might well have also been pagans since pagans tend to do odd things during a touch of lunacy brought on by such titanic events of nature.
for 72 minutes the lunar landscape was a coquettish pink & rouge for the first time in a blue moon.
something i shall not forget for at least a week.
graystoke

Monday, 22 January 2007

damp days at croke park

a conflicting weekend of sport

after humilation in the cricket down under for the past three months, draining us in every way as much with shock, sorrow and tiredness (up most nights from 3am gmt for yet further punishment - or was it a wake-up call after regaining the ashes in 2005, a dark reminder that was ever at the back of the mind) england shut up the oz piss-takers in the press with four inspired victories on the trot in the odi series, the last three beating oz, culminating sunday am to win the triangular series against all expectations (oz had been 6-1 on in melbourne friday night).

damp glasses all round. after all, you can't get drunk if you don't drink.

now it's time to thrash the dreadful italians at rugby up twickenham way. at least we're expecting 50 points on the board after the previous week's 40 point beating of an "improving" scottish side.
england only managed a disappointing 20-7 victory.
without jonny and his boot, fuck knows.

but the damp glasses are still being refuelled as we watch highlights of the oz thrashing by england on a damp night in sydney.

sunday afternoon is the big one in the six nations rugby, ireland v. france. the former grand slam favourites (they haven't done it since 1948, probably because the english hadn't yet finished rationing) and les grenoilles last seasons' champions.
it's a historic day as ireland are playing for the first time at croke park, home to gaelic football, on the north of the liffe for the first time whilst the intimacy of lansdowne road is being demolished (the latter held c.40,000, touchline stuff, croke 82,000 - but it's packed).

i'm watching the game from brighton. it's due to ko 3pm gmt.
1.30pm there's a general power cut (these can last from 30 minutes to 4 or 5 hours). streets & pubs are down. at least the stella pump's working in a bar up the road whilst my girlfriend finds a pp9 battery for thhe 1950s roberts radio as cover).
we return to the apartment block on the sea-front just before 3pm and find a woman waiting by the lift with her two year old son and his buggy laden with shopping. she hasn't understood why she's been waiting so long for the lift. the power's still out.
she lives on the fourth floor (we're on the third) so she carries junior whilst we lug her buggy and bags up to the fourth.
back downstairs the lights come back on. but just for a minute.
at least the roberts radio with a couple of red.

into the kitchen with robert to prepare a chilli. all i get is bloody football. the electrics come back on just before half-time and it's 13-11 to france. ireland still expects!

4 minutes to go, after a gruelling but thrilling second half with over 80,000 hoarse irish & french voices (having lived in dublin/wicklow for ten years the french are the biggest spending & most entertaining visiting supporters) ireland are leading 14 points to thirteen. my tv's up to maximum volume & so am i. france concede a penalty just outside their twenty-two. ireland have the option to kick for touch, tie the french down, maybe score another try (which would have put them out of sight), and wind down the clock to win. but non, the idjits (i'm irish-oz, so i've license) take the penalty goal. which they score. the crowd go mad with elation. one minute left and four points in the lead.

blind with celebration. looking forward to those victorious damp glasses of victory.

in the world cup semi-finals at lansdowne road in 1991 ireland took the lead in the last minute against oz. whilst the celebrations continued on and off the field oz kicked off and a certain winger nailed them.

ireland haven't learnt, yet. the french scored in the last play of the match to win 20-17 dampening spirits as much as glasses.

graystoke



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Sunday, 14 January 2007

global "warming"



can somebody please tell me what the fuss about so-called global warming is about (apart from governments' excuses to yet add further rip-orft stealth taxes?).

firstly, it is of a cyclical nature (get out your historical stats, lovers) and, furthermore, if mankind is having any effect on ozone layers (unlikely to any major degree) does anybody honestly think that the swiftly emerging powers of india and asia (esp. china) give a tu'penny ha'penny fuck about curbing personal wealth and turning their fridges & computers off at night?!

i love polar bears as i love pandas. so get them domestically inseminated as well. if we care so much as to produce artificial snow for failing ski resorts turn scotland, wales or austria into a new arctic on a permanent basis. after all, there would be nothing to lose and everyting to gain! just relocate any inhabitants up to what's left of the tundra and let them get on with it.

graystoke

your man on the doorstep

here's a pound, let's go!

ps. bring back hanging

Monday, 8 January 2007

iraq



and how many people have lost their lives since?....

save trees - eat beaver!!!



look closely at the second to last line on this lithuanian gourmet feast

inshallah, hebibe!



"how many times have i told you to put that bloody light out, inshallah!"

flat-hunting



"faster, faster! we'll make the wailing wall before tonight; have you the harpoons?" "If i haven't got her first."

swingers

"i am telling you yousef, this is not a time to discuss cricket"

ashes to ashes

dust to dust, graystoke's now moved from myspace to here - with great pleasure.

your man on the doorstep

here's a pound, let's go!