here at brighton & hove, actually we want to give you a few tips to help save your community and vegetarians and those with a wooden leg (ok, heather?).
money must be saved to keep life moving forward and this means all working together in the face of council tax rises as their services further deteriorate in the face of climate change and running a farmer's market and living on a caravan site.
for sausages: let the pork do the talking.
use an indoor barbie should it be a bit shaky outside. open a window. use the nearest old person for kindling and a decent confit which can be used at a later date. should you be lucky enough to startle and strangle a passing sooty there am de gravy!
other cuts include sirloin and porterhouse as well as bin collection. the latter is a particularly good chance for getting hold of the gravy or haggis (lot of scoots lezzies lorna doone here on the auld king cole).
do not drive over pot holes. as far as possible, grow your own.
if you have a neighbour with a garden wait until they go orfft on a long weekend you have recommended (eg. north uist), requisition and plant leeks and pipers. they will think that their tulips are doing well for the next couple of months. then recommend south uist for your harvest.
for your energy needs invest in a generator and a bicycle. find a couple of over-weight illegal polish immigrants and tell them to lose weight at the minimum wage.
more tips later.
